I dedicate this book to little Tatjana.

A young, innocent girl who, for fifty years, has been patiently waiting to be seen and heard—who has finally given me the most important message of my life:

»You don’t have to be strong anymore.
Not for anyone. Not even for me.
I’m OK now.«

I now understand the dimension of my anxiety in a completely different way. It runs even deeper than I realised in my first book. I was so proud to have temporarily overcome it, but now the abyss has opened—a place I had to fall into in order to uncover its true cause. So, it seems only right to publish a second book and share new insights and discoveries with my readers.

I can’t believe that the once unfamiliar word trauma now keeps appearing before me. How did I not think of it sooner, when my unconscious had been sending me constant messages about where the root of the problem lay? I saw anxiety as an irritating nettle that had suddenly grown inside me due to being overwhelmed, but I never considered that the seed had been there all along.

Trauma is a very common cause of depression and anxiety. It shapes how we see ourselves and how we respond to the world around us. For a long time, we may not realise that our struggles are connected to a past traumatic event. That is why I am now rewriting my story. Out of chaos, a picture emerges; out of shards of broken glass, a jug of love is formed. I didn’t break it myself, but only I can piece it back together—first by understanding what happened, and then by viewing it all through the lens of love.

A body carrying suppressed subconscious patterns becomes shrunken, with energy flow cut off in certain areas. To heal, we must learn self-compassion, patience, and acceptance of the symptoms that rise to the surface. When you are traumatised, you almost disconnect from your body because the emotions are too overwhelming. Reconnecting with yourself—getting back in touch with your body and uncovering its hidden layers—takes time and patience. It is an intense and slow process, as we are only just beginning to experience a sense of true safety within our own bodies.

When we heal our traumas, we raise our vibration and transform into a better version of ourselves. In doing so, we also elevate the collective vibration of society, with the Universe supporting us in this journey. Change is essential for the holistic renewal and elevation of both the Earth and humanity. Yet, we live in a world experiencing more wars simultaneously than ever before, with no end in sight to the generations of traumatised children and the unprecedented suffering of humanity. We can only move forward by healing our personal and collective wounds, rising into the vibration of Love, gratitude, forgiveness, and mutual acceptance.

When we become aware of the origins of our traumas, we can finally release the patterns we have carried for so long. Not all the effects of trauma are purely negative. Enduring traumatic experiences and reliving them through post-traumatic responses test our true capacities and potential. In this way, they also become a legacy of strength and resilience—one that we can pass on to future generations.

That is why I am writing this book. I am no longer seeking understanding for myself—it is too late for that, as soon I will be on the other side of the river. I will never be completely healed; I will face the consequences of my trauma for the rest of my life. God forbid that my fellow sufferers should see themselves in this story and that their loved ones fail to support them. May their relatives and friends help make their journey easier. I will always and everywhere defend vulnerability as a fundamental right—for every individual facing hardships they do not yet fully understand.

This is the success of my books—to touch the hearts of open-minded people. Today, I can say that my energy, my awareness, my strength, and my vulnerability all flow into my books and resonate with my readers. I feel the wounded souls on the other side, and I vibrate with them. I often cry when I sense this energy—these are tears of empathy and hope, knowing that in some way, I am helping them to endure. I may not know their faces, but I feel their hearts. And when I reach a higher awareness and find hope for myself, I long to stand on the top of a hill and tell my story with all my soul—to show the way for others, if only for a day. This force within me never fades.

I was never truly strong.
I was so vulnerable that I learned to appear strong.
That is why no one ever saw me as I really was.