Consciousness, Subconsciousness, and Higher Consciousness—these are the dimensions of the human being. Only when we explore all levels of our existence does true insight into our real Self emerge—usually through a thorny path of trials and pain.

Even on a conscious level, we often fail to fully recognise our own gifts, traits, strengths, and weaknesses. We navigate life on autopilot, too often driven by the expectations of others and the excessive demands we place on ourselves to perform our societal roles as perfectly as possible. In the frantic pace of Western civilisation, we rarely take the time for deep self-discovery—until life presents us with a challenge so profound that we can no longer run from it.

When we fall ill—physically or mentally, as the two go hand in hand—we are forced to explore new dimensions of our existence. Because of the effects of anxiety, I examined this path in depth and managed to tame my anxiety to the point where, ironically, it led me to an entirely new understanding of existence: superconsciousness. I wish to share my experience of merging with Oneness, Unconditional Love, or God—however one chooses to name it—simply because I believe that elevating ourselves to this higher vibration is the only possible solution for our chaotic world. If we came together and collectively raised the vibration of the Earth, we could stop the runaway train heading towards destruction. Through my books, I open my heart, enter my inner peace, hear my own voice, and receive answers to my questions. Because we are all one. And only Love truly heals us. For future generations, I wish for a world with less suffering and more empathy. I feel this hope, I live this dream, and I try to believe that light will overcome darkness, no matter how wildly it thrashes its terrifying tail before its final fall.

However, conscious self-awareness—even access to higher states of consciousness—is often not enough, because in reality, we are controlled by the hidden, sometimes even exiled parts of ourselves—our subconscious. When we have nearly played all our social roles and fulfilled the expectations of others, the moment inevitably arrives when the right trigger awakens a dormant danger within us. Often, these triggers are our partners, as they are the ones closest to us in our most vulnerable moments. When an old, forgotten trauma awoke within me, I lost control—not only of my nervous system but of my entire life. No amount of rational thinking could manage the overwhelming shifts in emotions, fears, resentments, anger, sadness, and the crushing loss of meaning and will to keep fighting. My life literally fell apart. At the very moment when I could have continued my mission through the success of my first book, the one thing I feared most happened—I collapsed into myself. I withdrew into my own shell, as if I were no longer capable of an authentic connection with the Source or even with the people around me.

Now, anxiety and repressed trauma walked hand in hand beside me. For the first time in my life, my body took the lead—for everything that had been too overwhelming for a child's psyche, it had carried instead. Everything my mind had suppressed as a defence mechanism against sexual abuse in early childhood, my body remembered in perfect detail. It had been sending me signals my whole life—urging me to release buried emotions, waiting for the right moment when my illusion of strength would finally crumble. But no one is ever truly prepared for this terrifying and lonely process. When the illusion falls, depression becomes inevitable. I can only be grateful for my intuition, which led me to the right therapist at the right time—the only person who, over two years, truly understood all the dimensions of my being. He opened Pandora’s box of unimaginable secrets, pain, fears, and emotions, while at the same time encouraging me to choose, once again, the path of Love, Forgiveness, and Gratitude.

This is how book THE JUG OF LOVEwas born—a deeply moving and honest testimonial of the eruption of repressed trauma, the battle to face it, a midlife marital crisis, physical pain, loss of meaning and self, early stages of depression, post-traumatic symptoms, and the fight for survival. In this book, I hold nothing back. I openly describe my therapy sessions, including the dialogues, the methods, and the books that helped me uncover every layer of abuse in my life. I share a firsthand experience of TRAUMA, its effects, and its consequences, blending both personal insight and theoretical knowledge. At the same time, I explore the shift into higher awareness, my soul’s mission, alternative dimensions of existence, and the transition from darkness to light—from victimhood to infinite Love, the higher force, which is the only thing capable of saving this runaway world from ultimate destruction. That is why I know my new book breaks taboos, opens buried wounds, unveils the hidden dynamics of our relationships—including the one with ourselves—and heals the inner child. It shows the way towards light, towards hope for a better future for generations to come. Because healing trauma awakens not only the individual but also their family tree—and ultimately contributes to the collective healing of humanity.